Happy Anniversary. Stay blessed. Warmest wishes. Anniversary Cheers...
I went on clicking the like button. 239 messages, I received on my first anniversary. It was 11.30pm. My husband had dozed off already. I was there, still awake and reading the messages. It was my first anniversary for my friends, relatives and all who did not miss to leave a message for me. But for me, it was like another usual day. I woke up, did all household chores under the supervision of my mother in law, had lunch, served snacks and tea in the evening, had dinner. The day ended. My husband as usual tired, slept even before I made to the bedroom. He did not even bother to wish me. I doubted even if he remembered.
I slipped out of the bedroom and sat in the balcony. Unable to cope with the emotional turmoil, I rang Sarah. Sarah was my roommate. She was younger to me. I met her during my post graduation days. She was pursuing MBBS at that time. And now she was doing her post graduation in Surgery. She was the only person with whom I could speak my heart out. She received my call in just one ring.
'Hello Vansikha Di.'
I could not even manage to say hello. I started sobbing in suppressing voice. She did not say anything. She just listened. She knew I would never listen to her advice. So, she just let me be on my own. After sometime, I could hear some sounds inside. I disconnected the call and peeped inside. My husband had woken up and he had put the lights on.
I walked back to the bedroom.
'With whom are you talking to?' He questioned.
I threw my cell in the bed.
'Check it.'
He kept silent.
'Do you know, what day is today? Let me, excuse myself, you don't even care to know. Last one year, you cared for nothing. My dreams, my desires, my needs and even I do not matter to you at all. You give deaf ears to my feelings. I can't even say, I am married. I am the only woman who is still virgin even after marriage. I am an all time free maid.' I shouted at him. I wanted to tell many things, but couldn't frame sentences. Tears were unstoppable.
'What do you mean by desires? It seems you are crazy for sex.' He added.
'Yes, I am. Tell me, Who on earth won't be? We are married for one year and have known each other for 2 years. I have my desires and you are least interested in having sex. Whenever I come close, you avoid giving excuses that you are tired after taking classes at the University. Tell me, are you the only professor at the University? Or, the professors are exempted from having sex with their wives. One more thing, tell me, why do people go for honeymoon? There too, you were tired after sightseeing. In the last one year, you have been tired but your medical report says you are perfect; no heart disease.
And you know I think my scariest nightmare is true. You are impotent.' I said directly on his face.
He chose not to answer. Turned off the light and slept.
I slipped on the floor and cried. He was heartless and had destroyed my life. I was a bright student and I had a great career. Had I not married, I would have been doing research at the University of Georgia.
I wished I could rewind my life. I wished I had not chosen to meet him at a common friend's request. I wished I had listened to my father who did not like him, but only accepted the proposal because of me. I wished I had not been brought up in a society where sex before marriage was a crime. I wished I had taken the relationship to a next level. I wished I was not mesmerized by his gifts and dinner dates. I wished I could tell my parents as I confronted him today. I couldn't. I couldn't. How could I tell my parents that my husband is impotent? Only Sarah knew. She wanted to talk on my behalf to my parents. But I stopped her. My mother would not be able to bear this. She already had heart disease.
I could not think of any way out. Neither I could tell my parents not I could call off my marriage. Sorry, I am married for the society. But in the eyes of law and medical science, I am single and a virgin.
I went on clicking the like button. 239 messages, I received on my first anniversary. It was 11.30pm. My husband had dozed off already. I was there, still awake and reading the messages. It was my first anniversary for my friends, relatives and all who did not miss to leave a message for me. But for me, it was like another usual day. I woke up, did all household chores under the supervision of my mother in law, had lunch, served snacks and tea in the evening, had dinner. The day ended. My husband as usual tired, slept even before I made to the bedroom. He did not even bother to wish me. I doubted even if he remembered.
I slipped out of the bedroom and sat in the balcony. Unable to cope with the emotional turmoil, I rang Sarah. Sarah was my roommate. She was younger to me. I met her during my post graduation days. She was pursuing MBBS at that time. And now she was doing her post graduation in Surgery. She was the only person with whom I could speak my heart out. She received my call in just one ring.
'Hello Vansikha Di.'
I could not even manage to say hello. I started sobbing in suppressing voice. She did not say anything. She just listened. She knew I would never listen to her advice. So, she just let me be on my own. After sometime, I could hear some sounds inside. I disconnected the call and peeped inside. My husband had woken up and he had put the lights on.
I walked back to the bedroom.
'With whom are you talking to?' He questioned.
I threw my cell in the bed.
'Check it.'
He kept silent.
'Do you know, what day is today? Let me, excuse myself, you don't even care to know. Last one year, you cared for nothing. My dreams, my desires, my needs and even I do not matter to you at all. You give deaf ears to my feelings. I can't even say, I am married. I am the only woman who is still virgin even after marriage. I am an all time free maid.' I shouted at him. I wanted to tell many things, but couldn't frame sentences. Tears were unstoppable.
'What do you mean by desires? It seems you are crazy for sex.' He added.
'Yes, I am. Tell me, Who on earth won't be? We are married for one year and have known each other for 2 years. I have my desires and you are least interested in having sex. Whenever I come close, you avoid giving excuses that you are tired after taking classes at the University. Tell me, are you the only professor at the University? Or, the professors are exempted from having sex with their wives. One more thing, tell me, why do people go for honeymoon? There too, you were tired after sightseeing. In the last one year, you have been tired but your medical report says you are perfect; no heart disease.
And you know I think my scariest nightmare is true. You are impotent.' I said directly on his face.
He chose not to answer. Turned off the light and slept.
I slipped on the floor and cried. He was heartless and had destroyed my life. I was a bright student and I had a great career. Had I not married, I would have been doing research at the University of Georgia.
I wished I could rewind my life. I wished I had not chosen to meet him at a common friend's request. I wished I had listened to my father who did not like him, but only accepted the proposal because of me. I wished I had not been brought up in a society where sex before marriage was a crime. I wished I had taken the relationship to a next level. I wished I was not mesmerized by his gifts and dinner dates. I wished I could tell my parents as I confronted him today. I couldn't. I couldn't. How could I tell my parents that my husband is impotent? Only Sarah knew. She wanted to talk on my behalf to my parents. But I stopped her. My mother would not be able to bear this. She already had heart disease.
I could not think of any way out. Neither I could tell my parents not I could call off my marriage. Sorry, I am married for the society. But in the eyes of law and medical science, I am single and a virgin.
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