The chirping sound of birds is the most pleasant
music to the ear. But if it continues for a longer time, will it be soothing to
your ear? Believe me; it is not, especially when you get to hear the same day.
The birds began humming the same tune, knocking on my
doorsteps and telling me that it’s time to get up. I half heartedly welcome my
new day and hastily searched for my cell with my eyes closed. Somehow, I found
my cell lying somewhere below my pillow. I then let the birds sleep for 24
hours. The birds in my cell phone never fail to wake me up in the morning. Once
they woke me up, I put them to sleep; a bonding shared with so much care.
“It is a holiday. Let me sleep for some more time,”
I reminded myself. And my eyes closed completely. I smiled at the thoughts of
extra nap and ‘my day.’
But then my cell rang. I opened my eyes, cursing the
caller. It was Damini, one of my seniors in college.
“Hello, Damini,” I said, sounding as if I was in
deep slumber.
“Hey, Sana,’ she said in an excited voice.
I sat up on my bed and wondered how come people are
so ignorant about me and my voice too? Don’t I sound like someone talking in
sleep? How does my voice not reflect that I am still in bed?
“Sana, Are you there?” Damini’s words brought me
back to my present plight.
“Yes,” I replied.
“Hey, Listen. Today I am throwing a spinster party
at my place. You know, before marriage a must ritual for your friends.
Otherwise, they might not turn up in my D-day. So, I want you to be present without
any excuse,” she said almost in one breath.
Damini was one of my favourite seniors. She has been
more a friend than a senior. Whenever I need her, she was ever ready to help
me. So, I could not put down her invitation.
“Okay, I will.”
She asked me to reach her place by 12:00 noon and
soon after she hang up.
After her call, my mood changed. ‘Spinster Party’
suddenly made my hormones shoot up. I jumped out of my bed in excitement and
flung open my wardrobe. I stood there and my eyes went to and fro, scrutinizing
every dress in my wardrobe. My excitement dropped down.
“Gosh! Sana, you don’t have anything to wear for the
party,” I told myself aloud.
I reached out for my cell and dialled my best friend
Swarna’s number.
She picked up my call in one ring.
Before she could even speak, I began,
“Can I borrow a dress from you? I have to attend a
spinster party, (I emphasized on the word spinster), and I have no proper dress
to wear.”
“Sana, I want to suggest you something...” she said
seriously.
“Yes, say...”
“Get married. You’ll have all set of new dresses,”
she said sarcastically.
“Swarna, what a suggestion? Disgusting...” I
screamed at her.
“Your wardrobe has no place. So many dresses,
traditional and western, both so nicely piled up. And how come you say that you
have no dress? Too much of anything is bad, you know, Sana...”
“Stop, Swarna. I am in no mood to listen to your
philosophy. Suggest me something...” I said.
“Wear that maxi dress you bought for your
birthday...”
Before she could even say something more, I began,
“I love you so much. That dress will be perfect. I don’t know why I didn’t
think of this before...”
She stopped me midway and teased me too much of
everything is bad.
After her call ended, I took out that dress. I hold
it with my two hands and stood before the mirror.
“Perfect,” I complimented myself and began laughing
at my own gestures.
I then made a list of things from hair style to
colour of my lipstick, stilettos to sling bag in my mind I need for the party.
I reached her home at exactly 12 noon. All her
friends had already arrived. As I stepped inside, I was enthralled with the way
the entire room was decorated. There was a centre table at the middle of the
room. All the sofas were removed and four bean bags were there instead. There
was also a mattress very nicely placed with small cushions spread over it. It
reminded me of old mujra in Bollyhood movies. There was a bar at the corner of
the room- the attractive one for today’s occasion. Just adjacent to the bar,
all food items were kept.
My observation shifted to her friends when Damini
introduced me to the group of spinsters.
“Hey, girls meet my best junior Sanatombi, a data
analyst...”
I shook hands with them. They were ten in total.
Some were dressed in hot pants and tees, a few in jeans and shirt and one in
maxi dress like me. She seemed lost in her glass of cocktail or mock tail I was
not sure.
The party began with loud music, and everyone jumped
to the dance floor circling Damini. I too joined them. We all danced to a few
of Bollywood dance numbers. After a while, I excused myself while few of them
continue dancing. I walked up to the bar and read the names of different
liquors: three barrels, Mr. Boston, Brooklyn
Lager, Blossom Hill, Risata, Paul Cluver, Bacardi Gold, and Pepsi, Mountain
Dew, Sprite too.
“Hey, shall I make one for you?” Damini teased me
from the back.
“Surely, in your daughter’s marriage...,” I replied
turning towards her.
She laughed. But her excitement dropped down.
“Sana, I know, you won’t woo with us. But please
feel comfortable and enjoy the party. You can have soft drinks,” she said,
putting her hands over mine.
“Oh! Damini, I will. I have a better way to enjoy
the party. Today I will become your bartender,” I said, tossing an invisible
bottle in the air.
She laughed and gave me a tight hug.
“Thank you, Darling...” she whispered in my ear.
“Ma’am, what do you want to have?” I said, taking
the position of the bar tender.
“Do you know the proportion to make a drink?” she
asked with her eyebrows twisted.
“3:1(3 is to 1),” I replied.
“Sana, again mathematics...,” she grumbled.
I laughed. Someone called her name out and she left.
I sat there observing the girls, their dance, and
their talks on their exes, their present crush and all. The liquor was having
its toll on them. They laughed and cried at the same time. But the girl in that
maxi dress was silent and calm. She laughed occasionally at the jokes of her
friends and another time she was lost in the glass she was holding.
She might be observing me as well. So she walked up
to me.
“Hey, girl. Are you feeling left out? Want to have a
drink with me?” she asked me.
“No, ma’am, I don’t drink,” I replied.
She laughed. “Please call me Sheron.”
“Okay,” I smiled.
“So, you don’t drink...” Sheron began again.
“Yes,” I nodded.
“I drink, I smoke. So, what do you think about me?”
she asked.
“I don’t have the right to judge you. It’s your
choice. And I have other reasons for not drinking.”
“Other reasons...What?” Sheron seemed curious.
“I want to drink with my Mr. Right.” The words came
out so fast, I realised later that I should not have shared this with Sheron.
“Mr. Right...Who is he?”
“I am single,” I replied and the words choked me
deep inside.
“So, Sana...You are waiting for a mirage in the
desert. You need someone to complete you. Your wish list has that person whom
you do not know. You want to enjoy your life with a stranger rather than your
friends whom you have known all these years. Your happiness counts on someone
whom you are yet to meet.”
“No. I enjoy with my friends. But I keep certain
wishes that I want to enjoy with my soul mate,” I stammered trying to justify
my point.
“Soul mate...There is nothing like that. Can you be
certain your Mr. Right want the same? What if he does not care to fulfil your
wish list? Live in the present. Don’t dream of a castle that you imagine in
your future? The future is always unpredictable. Take charge of your happiness.
Don’t let others make you happy or sad. Let your own choice be responsible for
what happens in your life,” she said and walked back to join her friends on the
dance floor.
I was taken aback by her words. Her words were too
harsh for me to digest. I felt like drinking all the liquors and then blurting
at her. But I choose not to.
Without anyone’s notice, I peeped out of that room
and walked into Damini’s garden. Her house was very much familiar to me. I sat
in the swing facing the big garden of her house. As I swing back and forth, Sheron’s
words started making sense to me.
I still cry at nights thinking about him. I am
strong to the world, but I break down in front of my pillow. Life is never the
same, after he left. I still see his last online timings. I still miss his
voice. He left me with a part of me. I still fail to come to terms. He is
accountable for my happiness then and now for the pains I am going through.
WTF, I have made myself. Sheron today showed me the reality of my life.
I
am lost
In the world
Of my own thoughts
And I want to escape
Into an unknown destination,
Where the buds-
Of my dreams,
Will bloom
To the fullest...
And I will not be a stranger
Anymore
Amidst known...
I knew it’s the time to change, to change my mind
set. Dragging one’s past, wishing for a miracle, thinking of the same person
day and night, carrying a fake smile, shouldering others who are going through
the same is what my life is all about; I had enough. I took out my cell and
texted, “Please forward me the itinerary and the trip details, I will join.”
